'Atma' - The soul

                                                    'ATMA' - The soul 

(My friend - Jitesh)
(August 2009, Meditation course)
           It was August 2009, we were attending the residential meditation course. Jitesh & I met in 2008 during our MBA course. We are really good friends. Before the second year of MBA,we both went for famous Meditation course. The lush green area and the peaceful atmosphere is ideal place for meditation. Generally, new disciples should meditate indoors.Both of us were attending our second course. But this time we got common  accommodation. We knew that it would become difficult to maintain noble silence if we both stayed together.But we were determined to take course seriously.The initial days were really normal.Whenever we used to see each other in campus we used to look down, so that none of us shall start laughing. We both love to chat a lot,so we both were feeling quite awkward when we were staying in single room..and that too without talking with each other.  
               Fourth day is very crucial in this particular technique of meditation. As from fourth day, the real operation of mind starts.We start feeling vibration throughout the body and it helps in dissolving our Ego.. we start experiencing the real composition of our body.I experienced it in my first course, so I knew that something will sure happen on that night. So I kept my fingers crossed. We both have faith in the meditation technique and we both were willingly there for our second course. Still there was little bit tension in the air. 

              As usual after full day Sadhana, dinner & evening lecture we started moving towards our room. Jitesh went ahead, opened door with keys and went straight to toilet.I took the empty water bottle from room and went outside to fill it on water tank tap. When I returned on room, I saw Jitesh was already sleeping with his bedsheet on his face. I thought he was quite exhausted, so without making any noise I closed the door slowly, swithced off the lights and went to bed.

      Few minutes later, I sensed some movement. I slowly opened my eyes and saw  that lights were switched ON again. That day Jitesh was little bit worried and didn't had any glow on his face. He was sitting on his bed quitely with closed eyes and meditating. I was little annoyed. It was midnight. Everyone was sleeping and this guy was meditating.In anger I took battery from my window and flashed it on his face.He understood my non-verbal communication and went to sleep again. But before sleeping, he stared at me with some different look which completely scared me. Till then,I was damn sure that something will definitely happen that night. In August 2008 when I was new student, I faced the similar situation. I knew, what it was? So I was quite sure about the recent future. 

       Actually, when our mind becomes more concentrated, it becomes quite sharp and sensitive. We start sensing everything around us perfectly. We always under-estimate our mind-power. But when we start realizing its true power,the experience is fearful. Those who practice rigorous meditation techniques like REKI will surely understand what I mean to say here.

           When we train our mind to meditate in a particular manner, our mind learns it. When we sleep,our conscious mind sleeps,but unconscious mind keeps doing the meditation in same pattern..in same track.And that results in increase of our heart beats.The more sharper the mind becomes, the heart beats runs faster, and at a moment we feel as if something is coming out of our body.We feel that something       escapes from our body with really high speed. That horrifies us and we start screaming in fear. And this fear is much more higher than the fear which you feel after some nightmares.
        As expected, Jitesh started screaming at around 2 a.m. in the night.His eyes were wide open,hand fists were tight & he was screaming with all his strength. I was already scared inside me, so I woke up literally screaming back on him. He screamed more loudly on watching me scream, and I increased my volume too. We were almost roaring like wild lions.

    Wo....What's going on? I came to my conscious. 
"Jitesh, Jitesh....Wake up, wake up'...I yelled at him.
'What happened, what happened?' he became somewhat normal.
 I told, 'Abey, you screamed in sleep & youu are asking me what happened?'
'You Moron ! you scared me, you bloody ghost, go and wash your face' I continued. 
He went in bathroom, washed his face and wiped it with towel.
My heartbeats were running like superfaster 'aston' train. 
He sat on his bed, and said slowly. 'Sorry Deepak'...
I said, 'It's OK, Buddy.I know it happens'..
'Our mind can literally play some nasty games with us'
I was thinking with myself. We broke the rule of noble silence unintentionally, but we didn't had any other choice left. We preferred to discuss about what  he had experienced? We both were completely afraid of each other.So we started to make atmosphere little 'easy'.He was looking at me as if I am a 'Ghost', and I was looking at him as if he will kill me in next moment. 

Suddenly we both heard one voice outside our door.
Someone was tapping on our door. 
I asked loudly, 'Who is there?',
Outside voice replied ' Why you people, talking with each other? Don't you know rules?'
I opened the door, ' Oh, we are sorry'. 

I went outside the room and walked with that volunteer. I explained him, why we both were talking. I promised him once I will make Jitesh normal & calm again, we both will resume our noble silence. I came inside the room & with normal tone, I told Jitesh not to worry about whatever happened. 

  I explained him that whenever some Vikara's goes out of your body, they take hell out of you. So relax. It's normal,Sleep now'.
He smiled back at me and lied on the bed. Within few minutes he slept. 
We completed our course successfully and returned home. 

Now things are completely normal. We never discussed anything with each other  about that night in last two years.I know the reasons of some of the things about what happened that day.But one thing always remained mysterious even for me. 
I have not discussed  it with Jitesh also.....One question remains unanswered...

'Why he screamed in FEMALE voice that day?' 

It's me - Deepak
(Aug 2009, Meditation course)


  1. Whoa!!!
    Imagining the situation is sending chills down my spine.

  2. Hmm..I lived that moment.. :)
    Thanks Karthik 4 comment

  3. Dear friend...you are such an excellent writer. I was captivated throughout this entire recant of your personal life experience. You really have a gift for expressing yourself in such a poignant, meaningful way. I so appreciated this. Thank you for sharing!! ~ alice

  4. Thanks a lot Alice. Actually do lot of grammer mistakes while writing and do not have adequate vocabulary, so I try to write in Simple, easy ENGLISH.
    I am happy that you liked it. Thanks.

  5. Deepak- I have been thinking abtou meditating for an year now but never started. BTB ur experience is really wierd. he cried in female voice?

  6. Yes Meditation is Good..But overmeditation can cause psychological problems....

    Thanks 4 reading SH. :)

  7. nice post Deepak! don't knw why but i feel u shud not share ur unanswered question here especially when u knw the meditation power! better u should ask this to ur teacher as many of us don't know 'meditation process' so it may be scary for them. it's just my view so plz don't take it otherwise.

  8. Hi Shveta, thanks 4 ur advice.
    If u hve prior ideas of side-effects of sme Medicine, it becomes easy 2 tackle it,and it cause less panic.

  9. Amazing... Thanks for sharing...
    I was into meditation for 2 months but couldn't continue, however. You have this simple style of writing which appeals. Keep posting!

    Indie :)


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